Curious Corner

There are people who have a tendency to build walls around themselves but what they fail to realize is that the very same walls which they have erected to protect them from outside can also imprison them inside. So on one side there is self preservation and on another there is freedom. It may stop both pain and joy from entering in your life. So, where does the balance of the scale lie? Is there any better way?

People who build these walls around themselves justify that in the name of self preservation and protecting themselves and their feelings. And often it is their pain and trauma from the past which led them on this path. And this fear of pain and suffering can lead people to extreme means. Recently I watched a show – ‘Shōgun’ based on a book by the same name written by James Clavell. The historical-fiction novel takes place in 16th century Japan, a period marred by civil wars and social upheavals. In the show I came across a concept called – ‘the eightfold fence’. In the show this concept was explained by the character of – Lady Mariko. This idea itself is not new and has been a part of Japanese culture since ages.

Eightfold Fence

The basic idea behind ‘the eightfold fence’ is the same as people building metaphorical walls around themselves but taken to an extreme end and is much more complicated and elaborate. This extreme measure  probably gained greater acceptance during  the tumultuous period of civil war which brought immense pain and suffering onto people and uprooted the lives of the vast population of the country. Thus to compensate for the lack of a safe place people built an impenetrable wall within themselves, a safe place where one can retain their individuality and control even in the darkest of times. They compartmentalize their mind along with their thoughts, feelings, emotions and everything in order to hold multiple views and thoughts that were at odds with each other. They can smile to the outside world and weep in their sanctum sanctorum at the same time. This is how they can hide their true self in the center of the 8 layers of fences beyond the reach of anyone.  

Prison

Regardless of the usefulness of ‘the eightfold fence’ the question is what is the price that one pays for erecting this fence. This elaborate fence also traps one completely within its folds. This psychological trap can even give a real prison run for its money. Suppressing emotions and feeling especially in the long run can not only lead to mental health issues but also make one unable to connect to others and form meaningful relationships. At the end of day it increases one’s stress and anxiety as holding emotions within this  fence takes a toll on mind, thus causing us the same pain and suffering we tried to avoid using these fences. Not only that it also steals one’s emotional resilience hence making the person more vulnerable. 

Better Way

This futility of building walls to protect oneself is not lost to all, many have realized this and many have learned other more healthier ways to gracefully deal with the chaos around them. And guess what, they are a lot more simple and less elaborate. It all starts with acceptance of the outside world as it is and understanding that it is better to learn to ride the flow of life than fighting against it for control. Trying to bring this philosophy in real life will take time but will be worth it.

I will not lie, I too have tried building metaphorical walls to protect myself but I realized its futility a long time ago. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will embark on the journey of freeing yourself from the prison of your own making.