Curious Corner

The Irony

People generally ignore cliché and trivial pieces of advice, but what they don’t realize is that they are more often than not good. The common notion people carry in their heads is that such advice doesn’t work. But the ironic part of the situation is that any advice becomes a cliché precisely because it works well. They not only work well in a large plethora of situations but are exactly the ones which have stood the test of time and have proven their worth. You might find this phenomenon paradoxical and even completely nonsensical but there is no denying that such situations are abundant in our society and many of us knowing or unknowingly have fallen into this trap.

Beginning

There is a cyclic process that runs behind this paradox – first comes the problem, next comes many different solutions for it, then out of many solutions, the one that works gains popularity and becomes ubiquitous. Thus, the solutions that work well over time become part of our common wisdom. Now, it is at this stage that something ironic and paradoxical happens – people, after some time, start ignoring this advice by labelling it as trivial and cliché.

Unravelling Paradox

Let’s unravel this mystery layer by layer and try to understand the reason behind it. There are many aspects of society and human nature, hidden in plain sight, responsible here. Firstly, we are very myopic in our view and often ignore the long-term consequences of our actions, thus failing to identify the importance of trivial advice that has proven its worth over many generations. Secondly, we are very bad at learning from others’ mistakes. In fact, some people (to be frank, some times I count myself in this group) don’t even learn from their own mistakes, let alone others’. So we end up inadvertently reinventing the wheel again and again and keep failing to take benefit from others’ advice.

“All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience.”

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Additionally, we also like to experiment and try new and different solutions to the same problem. There is a love for novelty deeply rooted in the human psyche. Whether this is a bug (cons) or a feature (pros) of humanity is up for debate. Although, in my opinion, this is at best slightly advantageous for us and at worst harmless. There remains one last and critical reason.

The Hidden Truth in Clichés

Lastly, we come to the most critical reason: cliché advice may sound trivial and banal, but they conceal within the layers of unoriginality the never-changing fundamental truth, which will be useful for your entire life and even in the next, that is, if you could keep hold of them till then. They could completely transform your life. However, many of us fail to see their potential due to the veil of our ignorance. Nonetheless, there are some who have the wisdom to follow the age-old saying, “In every seed lies the potential for an entire forest.” These are the people who follow trivial and cliché advice. But to uncover this potential, one needs to put effort into understanding the simple-sounding clichés to grasp their true meaning. And a great deal of discipline and patience is needed to ingrain them in their practical lives.

Uncovering True Meaning

So, how do we uncover the true meaning of such advice? A good piece of advice, which many may consider cliché, is like a teacher who wants you to reach the conclusion on your own and is only there to point you in the right direction. This is so because the laws of wisdom dictate that it cannot be given but only taken by the one who is worthy. So you have to work on the cliché advice to get its real meaning hidden behind the door which only your mind can unlock through introspection.

Example from Stoic Philosophy

Let’s get straight to one such advice given by Epictetus, a stoic philosopher who went from being a slave to a one of the great philosophers of the West – “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters”. Before we try to grasp the meaning of this piece of advice we must do some introspection into our lives. We tend to live a very reactive life where our emotions and actions seem out of our control and at the mercy of the situations that life throws at us, be it good or bad. A compliment or few good words from a friend or colleague in the morning can make us happy throughout the day, while a few not so good words can spoil our mood for the entire day.  And the more important the person in our eyes, the more intense our emotional reaction. So much of how we feel at any moment is dependent on others. In pursuit of our happiness, we try to influence others so that others are good to us. But this pursuit is futile as there is an inherent limit as to what extent you can influence other people. Still, we keep repeating the same mistakes again and again, failing to learn from them.

What we fail to recognize is that there are things in life out of our control. We must accept this truth of life. And our pursuit of trying to control them is like us trying to swim against the current of the river.

“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.”

— Charles R. Swindoll

Epictetus the stoic philosopher is suggesting that you go with the flow and only try to control what is truly under your control. According to him, external events that are out of our control are neither good nor bad in themselves. And it’s our judgments about them that make them good or bad. This line by him beautifully captures this idea – “People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them.” It is only our own actions and choices that we can truly control. So we must focus on our own behaviour and mindset, cultivate self-discipline, and stop reacting to things the wrong way. This is the true meaning of his advice.

The Path to Self-Discipline

However, this true meaning that lies hidden behind the trivial is of no use if we don’t put in the effort and bring self-discipline into our lives by our own free will. And remember, a good piece of advice can only point towards the destination, not take you there. So you are on your own.